MY EGO

         

            "I couldn't watch her cry so I pulled her forward and hugged her. I thought I could say something to console her but I ran out of words. I was just dumb-founded.
I tried to change the topic and yeah it worked. She smiled again but things were never the same again. It all started when we were in college. She was struggling to hold a pile of books in her bag when the pile dropped. Usually, I am not a very nice person but as I was passing by with my friends and saw her books, I decided to help. As I was picking them up I happened to see her name and called her 'lizard'. She was so pissed when she heard what I said and insulted me. That was like the first time a girl insulted me in public. I think we exchanged a few words and still called her lizard while going on. I wasn't expecting  her to thank me though and she didn't.

           Life continued and one day we stumbled on each other again but for another reason. We were given a project to work on and a very deadline. When I realized we were in the same group, I flinched. Really?, not this lizard again. What am I going to do with this girl in my group and she was the group leader. When she saw me, she was puzzled and requested that I be removed from her group. Unfortunately, our professor declined. The project started on a bad note because of our bad blood. As time went on, we became very good friends. We did practically everything together.

          We won best couple of the year for four years in school. All of a sudden, I started to drift. I changed and I knew it. Not because my friends told me but I could feel it within me. I lost a lot of people then and I really can't explain what happened. Lizard as I used to call her was Elizabeth. She still stood by me when I was drifting. We quarreled a lot. Some were for stupid reasons others not but I still loved her. Letters are kind of old school to some people but I can remember writing like two letters or so to her. As time went on, I stopped calling her though she kept calling and eventually, we grew apart. She tried everything within her power to get me back but I kept my distance still. Two months later, I received a phone call from her saying she wanted to see me. When she saw me, she started crying and kept telling me how difficult it was for her to say what she wanted to say. I waited patiently wondering what it was she wanted to say. Then I got the shock of my life. She broke up with me. I was shocked but pretended not to be and didn't ask why. When I saw her tears, I wasn't comfortable. I was asking myself "did she really love me this much to break up with me and cry for doing so?".

         I became officially single then and was enjoying it for a while. I later got to regret loosing her. I wanted to call her and shout and tell her how much I love her but my ego wouldn't let me. I go through our old messages at times, her pictures, her posts and can't help but smile. I realized too late that the person that kept me going, that knew the real me and was always there for me was gone. I am trying to move on though but I don't think I can find anyone like my lizard".

"That's my story man. So dude fight for your girl. Don't let your ego get in the way" I told Kevin.

"Thanks" he said, " I will do that but am so sorry for you man. I really am".

" Its all good" I said.


Lesson: Ego is one thing that kills a lot of people. Don't let your ego deprive you of what is yours, what you deserve or what you love. It takes a lot to drop your ego so start by trying. You can't do anything without trying at first. Drop your ego and move on.







Cheers.
Debbrah & Lizzy.